Moses: "Thou shalt not kill. It is one of the most sacred of the Ten Commandments of God. Thou shalt not kill. Does everybody understand?"

Israelites: "Yes Moses. We understand."

Moses: "Good because this is not just a peripheral law. It is one of the glorious ten, written in stone as a perpetual reminder to all. Thou shalt not kill! As long as you are all clear on that?"

Israelites: "Yes Moses."

Moses: "Good!"

Voice from the Back: "Er, that is - Thou shalt not kill, apart from prostitutes."

Moses: "What?"

Voice from the Back: "I said, Thou Shalt Not Kill, apart from prostitutes. I refer you to - "Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you." DEU 22:21"

Moses: "Well, yes, okay, you are to kill prostitutes. I mean, that is necessary so that the whole lot of you don't enter a brothel mentality, but apart from killing prostitutes - Thou Shalt Not Kill."

Voice from the Back: "Okay Moses. Just wanted to clear that one up. Er, and adulterers."

Moses: "What?"

Voice from the Back: "Thou shalt not kill apart from prostitutes and adulterers. I refer you to - "If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel." DEU. 22:22"

Moses: "Well, yes of course. Obviously I didn't mean it regarding adulterers. They have to be killed so that you all learn a lesson and not turn to adultery. So you can kill them. But apart from killing prostitutes and adulterers, remember - Thou shalt not kill. Have you all got that?"

Israelites: "Yes Moses."

Moses: "Good. I am glad we have got that clear."

Voice from the Back: "Er, and apart from people who worship other gods.

Moses: "What?

Voice from the Back: "I said - apart from people who worship other gods. We have got to kill them, haven't we? I refer you to - your instructions regarding somebody who tries to entice us to worship another God - "Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him. But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage." DEU. 13:6-10

Moses: "Listen Matey, are you trying to make trouble or something?"

Voice from the Back: "Who me? Oh no, not at all. I am just trying to get it clear in my head, that's all."

Moses: "Alright then, but I thought that would be obvious that when I said thou shalt not kill, I didn't mean that you shouldn't kill people who worship other gods. Of course you have got to kill them. But apart from killing people who worship other gods, prostitutes and adulterers thou shalt not kill, okay? Have we all got that now?"

Israelites: "Yes Moses."

Moses: "Right, I really am glad we have got that sorted out."

Voice from the Back: "Er, apart from rebellious and stubborn children."

Moses: "What? Who is that?"

Voice from the Back: "I said - apart from rebellious and stubborn children, you know the sort, drunkards and gluttons. I refer you to your instructions on what a parent should do if they have a stubborn and rebellious son. - "Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; and they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear." DEU. 21:19-21

Moses: "Well, yes, that's right. Rebellious and stubborn children have got to be killed, but I thought that would be obvious. But apart from rebellious and stubborn children who are gluttons and drunkards, people who worship other gods, prostitutes and adulterers, Thou Shalt Not Kill. Good grief I would have though that it was all so obvious. Now can we get on to other business. I have got to give you the measurements of the temple so that you can get on with building it."

Voice from the Back: "Er, and apart from witches. I refer you to - "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." EXO. 22:18

Moses: "You are beginning to get on my pip, meladdo. Who are you anyway? Step out into the light so that I can see you.

Voice from the Back: "No, you are okay, Moses. Just trying to get it clear in my head, that's all. I mean, I wouldn't want anybody to get confused by it all."

Moses: "Righttttt…Well in that case, naturally you must kill all witches. We can't allow that sort of a thing to carry on, can we?"

Voice from the Back: "So, we mustn't kill apart from prostitutes, adulterers, worshipers of other gods, rebellious children and witches."

Moses: "Right. I am glad that we have sorted that out. Now about the measurements of the temple…"

Voice from the Back: "Er, and apart from people who commit sexual acts with animals."

Moses: "What?"

Voice from the Back: "I said - apart from people who commit sexual acts with animals. I refer you to - "Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death." Exodus 22:19

Moses: "Right, right, right. So Thou Shalt Not Kill apart from prostitutes, adulterers, people who worship other god's, disobedient children, witches and people who have sex with animals. Now CAN WE GET ON?"

Voice from the Back: "Er and apart from the king of Heshbon and all of his people including everybody who lives in his cities including the men, women and children."

Moses: "What?"

Voice from the Back: "I refer you to - "And the LORD said unto me, Behold, I have begun to give Sihon and his land before thee: begin to possess, that thou mayest inherit his land. Then Sihon came out against us, he and all his people, to fight at Jahaz. And the LORD our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people. And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain:" DEU 2:31 - 34

Moses: "Well, yes, of course, but I would have thought it was obvious that when I said Thou shalt not kill, I didn't mean the king of Sihon and all of his people."

Voice from the Back: "Er, and apart from…"

Moses: "Right I have had enough of this, You all know what happened when all of those priests questioned me, how the ground opened up and they all died, so somebody kill him will you.

Voice from the Back: "Yes, I was just coming to that one, is their anything in the rumour that you and Aaron mixed some strange powders together and blew them all up? Aaaarghhhh….!"

******

Christians often answer this matter with a very simple statement - "The word 'kill' from this text actually means 'murder' so the text 'Thou shalt not kill' actually means 'Thou shalt not commit murder'."

"And what is murder" I ask.

"Murder is a preplanned action where somebody takes the life of another". the reply comes back

So the total genocide of a people including men, women, children and babes in arms isn't murder? Really? It isn't preplanned? So the total anhiliation of a people - genocide because they don't believe the same as you is acceptable, is it?

But that was war.

There is nothing war about killing babes in arms. It is an atrocity of murder. It is genocide. It is the preplanned action of killing defenceless babies. King Herod had a go at it at the time of Jesus' birth, and it is popularly called "The slaughter of the innocents" in Christian circles. And for doing so he is considered to be a right murdering git, but hey, it was alright because it wasn't actually murder?

How many moons are there on the planet where you come from? You just sit there and complacently negate all of these atrocities, because you do not equate them with murder? Just what do you equate with murder? The preplanned action of taking your son before the priest because in your opinion he is unruly and won't do what he is told, so you have him killed, and it isn't murder?

Prostitutes, adulterers and people who worship other gods are all fair game are they? If we kill them it isn't murder isn't it? Really?

I'll tell you what - why don't you wait until you get some evidence on your neighbour that they are having a bit on the side and then pop over the fence and kill them and then lets see if the judge and jury call it murder shall we? Or go into town tonight and find a prostitute and kill her and lets see if they call that one murder.

You are off your head. You are just making this up as you go along.

And while we are at it how about "Thou shalt not steal"? Where does that figure? "Thou shalt not steal." Exodus 20.15 and again "Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbour, neither rob him." Leviticus 19:13

Because in another instance we not only have God commanding the murder of the opposition but the theft of their goods also -

"And ye shall spoil the Egyptians." Exodus 3:22 - "And they spoiled the Egyptians." Exodus 12:35-36

These two commands utterly oppose one another, just like all of the ones regarding killing. "Thou shalt not kill" is totally opposed to "go and kill", and "Thou shalt not steal" is totally opposed to "go an steal and plunder and rob everything you can off that lot over there".

Get your head around it. There is something terribly wrong with it all. Either Moses was a total loon who was hell bent on remaining in power and anything went because he just made it all up as he went along to suit himself as the occasion arose, or the commands actually did come from Jehovah. If it is the latter then once again you have a problem because they were and are equally contradictory.

Now let's move on and start on Christianity because this insanity gets even better.